Talking Trash HOUSTON—Marking a momentous leap forward in humankind's understanding of the universe, NASA scientists announced today they had received a radio transmission confirming the existence of intelligent, extremely condescending life in a galaxy nearly 13... A 48-year-old West Palm Beach millionaire and polo club founder has adopted his 42-year-old girlfriend in an apparent bid to avoid paying out a wrongful death lawsuit. WASHINGTON—Department of Health and Human Services officials held a press conference Monday to announce that while no studies had been conducted to establish that the practice is unhealthy, people still should not eat candles. Apple today announced financial results for its fiscal 2012 first quarter, which spanned 14 weeks and ended December 31, 2011. The Company posted record quarterly revenue of $46.33 billion and record quarterly net profit of $13.06 billion, or $13.87 per diluted share. These results compare to revenue of $26.74 billion and net quarterly profit of $6 billion, or $6.43 per diluted share, in the year-ago quarter. “We’re thrilled with our outstanding results and record-breaking sales of iPhones, iPads, and Macs,” said Tim Cook, Apple’s CEO. “Apple’s momentum is incredibly strong, and we have some amazing new products in the pipeline.” Gen. James N. Mattis, the head of the military’s Central Command, will discuss the airstrike that killed 24 Pakistani soldiers and wrecked relations. Nation Horrified By Carolina Panthers' Disturbingly Graphic Logo Redesign Suitcase Spends All Year Looking Forward To Carousel Ride Blog post and video from Microsoft Digital Crimes Unit about company efforts to stop the Rustock spambot. Incest Survivor Dumped Apple today released Final Cut Pro X version 10.0.3, a significant update to its revolutionary professional video editing application. Version 10.0.3 introduces Multicam Editing, which automatically syncs up to 64 angles of video and photos; advanced chroma keying for handling complex adjustments right in the app; and enhanced XML for a richer interchange with third-party apps and plug-ins that support the fast growing Final Cut Pro X ecosystem. It also includes a beta version of Broadcast Monitoring that supports Thunderbolt devices as well as PCIe cards. Final Cut Pro X version 10.0.3 is available from the Mac App Store for $299.99 (US) to new users, or as a free update for existing Final Cut Pro X customers. Students at Punahou School in Honolulu, Hawaii, are using Mac notebooks to research class assignments and show results in ways they never could before. These include songs and podcasts recorded and edited in GarageBand, digital presentations and portfolios created in Keynote, campus news videos edited in iMovie and Final Cut Pro, and even iOS apps built using Xcode. Says sixth grade teacher Sandy Chang, “The Macs in my classroom are completely indispensable.” In a CNET Editors’ review, Jason Parker gives the new GarageBand for iPad, iPhone, and iPod touch 5 out of 5 stars, citing the app’s “uniquely designed and authentic-sounding instruments, smart touch interface, and tools that make song creation easy.” He adds: “Anyone with even a passing interest in creating music should download GarageBand for iOS. Frankly, we wish we could give it more than five stars for the virtually unlimited song possibilities, ease of use, and excellent touch-screen controls.” PBS 9 p.m. EST/8 p.m. CST The hit British show has to do damage control after last week's episode, in which all the characters referred to the fighting in France as "World War I." A Republican fund-raising advantage among outside groups has led the White House to change course and use surrogates to encourage donations to a “super PAC.” On Mike Tyson Being Inducted Into WWE Hall Of Fame Just in time for the holidays, Apple’s fifth Manhattan store opens for business at New York’s world-famous Grand Central Terminal at 10 a.m. on Friday, December 9. The store overlooks the historic Main Concourse and features two Genius Bars, entire rooms dedicated to Personal Setup and Personal Training, and an expert team of 315 employees. Holiday shoppers can test-drive Apple products, attend 15-minute Express workshops, get free technical support, and more. Apple today announced financial results for its fiscal 2011 fourth quarter ended September 24, 2011. The Company posted quarterly revenue of $28.27 billion and quarterly net profit of $6.62 billion, or $7.05 per diluted share. These results compare to revenue of $20.34 billion and net quarterly profit of $4.31 billion, or $4.64 per diluted share, in the year-ago quarter. Gross margin was 40.3 percent compared to 36.9 percent in the year-ago quarter. International sales accounted for 63 percent of the quarter’s revenue. Republicans will reveal the identity of the Mystery Candidate only after he, or she, wins the election. Wired Magazine reports that Newsstand, a new feature of iOS 5, is “hitting it big with traditional media publishers thanks to its windfall delivery of new digital subscriptions.” Newsstand keeps all app subscriptions for newspapers, magazines, and journals in one convenient place on the iOS 5 home screen and makes it easy to shop for new reading material. Wired cites Conde Nast and The New York Times among publishers seeing large spikes in app subscriptions since Newsstand launched. Apple today announced an all-new iTunes U app, giving educators and students everything they need on their iPad, iPhone, and iPod touch to teach and take entire courses. The all-new iTunes U app lets teachers create and manage courses — including essential components such as lectures, assignments, books, quizzes, and syllabuses — and offer them to millions of iOS users around the world. The app also gives iOS users access to the world’s largest catalog of free educational content from top universities including Cambridge, Duke, Harvard, Oxford and Stanford. And starting today, any K-12 school district can offer full courses through the iTunes U app.